Lonely..

I'm lonely?

-- Yes

I'm alone?

-- No

Lonely and alone sound like they have same meaning

but actually not..

Are you alone?

No

you still have your parents, siblings, friends, neighbor and bla bla

except there's no one on this Earth

so you can call it alone

Lonely ?

You still have your parents, siblings, friends and bla bla

but 

in my opinion

you feel lonely because someone who you care very much

ignore you

don't understand what you want

don't understand what your feel

don't understand your problems

don't understand that you need him / her

Although there are thousand of peoples around you

you still feel lonely

When I started to feel lonely?

I think when I'm in Form 1

 I started to feel lonely

then

Form 2, Form 3, Form 4, until now

That time

my best friend ignore me

although I keep posting some status to catch her attention

but

finally

I feel sad and hurt

my tears drop

I wash my face with my tears

is that lonely?

I think

If I don't have anyone to care and to love

I will not feel lonely

It's feel like

I share a piece of cake to her

but she do not share her cake with me

Of course

I will feel sad and hungry

 

Same with lonely

you do something to catch him / her attention

or maybe find them and talk to them

but if they ignore you

and can't understand what you feel

....

don't know how it's feel

Sometimes

I think

if I do not exist on this earth

maybe other people will happy

My parents no need to work very very hard for me

My classmates no need to compete with me

My sis will happy without me..

and 

I will not hurt anyone ...

Maybe

I should say to myself

Other people will happy without me

so just let them happy with other peoples..

I'm happy..

I'm happy to see my beloved person happy with her friends..

because I know I can't make her happy.. 

Anyway

yesterday Lee Kopi gave me to do a test

so 

I get a worst mark for my emotional feelings

it said

I'm an easily emo and sad person..

ok

It's me

No one will know me :)

So ermm

good night

Oyasuminasai..

CS released a new sniper rifle

M82

but very noob

the scope very very NOOB

can zoom 1 time only = =

urghh regret for buying it !! 

A new map also has been released -.-

Survivor

nothing special about the map

except an crushed aeroplane

lorry

and a cold river that can make you die if you swim in it