:)

Live in this room alone

walk alone in this hostel

sleep alone

Seniors in my room already went home

and most of the seniors also went home

Before went home

my senior told me to ask my friend to sleep in my room

Yea it is very unsafe for a girl to sleep alone in hostel room

I just smiled

I really don't know what is 'friend'

Since orientation week

I always alone..

I tried to make friends

but

I really don't know why I will become like this

Other classmates in this hostel sleep together with their friend at night

Me?

Very afraid to sleep alone

But still try to sleep

At morning

I saw my classmates walking out from her friend's room

I try to avoid her

I don't know why I want to avoid her

I feel that she don't like me

Since she don't want reply my mssg at whatsapp 

and ignore me in class

I always avoid her
Maybe I will feel sad 

so I try to avoid her

avoid everyone

Waiting for bus alone

go to class alone

sitting alone

eating alone

I don't like to be alone but I always alone

Last week

I didn't know that we will have to take class picture

then

when I saw the class picture without me 

I cried

Never mind

it is just a picture

If I die

the picture means nothing to me

What's hurt the most?

When someone who you care and you put trust on

hurt you when you really down

Now I feel don't want to tell anything to her anymore

I scare I will get hurt again and again whenever I want to tell my problems

mssg May jst now

I cried when I saw her mssg

I feel want to die every moment at here

but when I remember how my parents how my family

sent me here

and really want me to become a doctor

I try..

I try to become strong

although I cry a lot

I cry a lot a lot a lot a lot here

Now also crying

crying

Maybe one day I can't take all of it anymore

I will go

I always avoid to call my parents

but I'll whatsapp them everyday

why?

I scare I'll cry if I hear their voice

Since I was in secondary school

I never cry anymore in front of my parents

but

I cry a lot when I'm alone

Don't know what to type anymore

I want to off

bye bye

:)

現在的我，很相信順其自然。

別說我不在意，就算在意了又能怎樣

我在不開心的時候
常常會躲在不為人知的地方
不過 老實說
我真想有個對的人找到我。

雙魚對疼痛、苦難承受力驚人，

很可能手指被車門夾到的時他們只是皺了一下眉，生病時也硬是抗了下來。

如果雙魚很認真的在和你訴苦，你或許覺得他說的其實沒有什麽大不了的，

但是請在想象中將他們所描述的苦乘以10，

這大概就是他正在遭受的。

事實上他們經常選擇幹脆什麽也不說 .

總是在滿滿的眼淚快掉下時眨了下眼假裝大笑 

也許他覺得這叫破涕為笑

每次很委屈的時候都不會說 

即使知道了什麼事都會麻木相信 

也許這叫麻木的信任吧



把所有心裡隱藏起來 

總草草的用算了吧 

沒事的來解釋一切 

其實祇是不想別人再觸動傷口了

明明知道那是自己最愛的人 

不過總覺得自己配不上對方 

而離開對方 

也許這叫自找苦吃吧



總是害怕自己是多餘的 

總是自動退出別人的世界 

躲在自己的世界 

也許

不想

再出來了